


Useless European Lesbian

by v_fanvergent



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Eventual Smut, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 13:10:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4565811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_fanvergent/pseuds/v_fanvergent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New bartenders can be dark and twisty. Especially the useless European lesbian ones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_"It's a good place when all you have is hope and not expectations."_ \- Danny Boyle

* * *

 

 

 

The way to the bar seemed way too long and unreal. The taxi itself was stinky, the driver rude and the streets busy and the city too cold for Laura’s liking. All she wanted was to get to McLauren’s, sit at her regular booth and enjoy a beer with her girlfriend. Traffic seemed to be against her.

“Excuse me, do you know how much longer it will be ‘till 23rd street?” she eagerly asked the driver.

“‘Bout fifteen minutes, love.” he replied huskily.

Ugh. Better call LaF. She pulled out an outdated flip phone and dialed, then rested her head against the window while listening to the call signal.

 

“Yo. LaF on the phone.” they answered sleepily.

“Well, I’d assume, since I called you. Please don’t tell me you’re still sleeping”

“No, no, I’m not sleeping, just trying out this new drug. Side effect: sleepiness.” they chuckled.

“Ugh, again? You should really stop doing that. And no- I don’t care how much they’re paying you.” Laura raised her voice while gesturing with her hands which she had a tendency of doing a lot.

“Look Hollis, teaching doesn’t pay the bills, experimenting does.” LaFointaine sounded a bit more awake.

“Well, whatever LaF, it’s you life. Now let’s talk about mine!” she smiled to herself. “My bitch ass boss just asked me to write a piece on, I quote, “Fashion these days, or whatever…” for next month’s issue and she let me choose who to interview and which firm to shadow, so guess who I chose!”

“Hmm, I wonder…” they mumbled sarcastically “Perhaps your tall ass girlfriend’s firm?”

“YES! I’m on my way to the bar to meet up with Danny to tell her, she’s probably already there. I’m like a street away.” she took a moment to breathe though the words seemed to keep pouring out of her mouth “I mean wouldn’t that be great! Since I wouldn’t have to be at the office all the time, I could pick her up to go to work together. It’d be so fun!”

“I think you guys should just move in. How long has it been, 9 months?”

“9 months a week from now. But I don’t think we’re there yet although I think she’d love the idea. You know how overprotective she is” Laura rolled her eyes at the phone.

“You know what, on second thought, don’t do that. I don’t want to be invited to dinner parties and shit, I already feel single enough” LaF sighed.

“And whose fault is that LaF? Hey, I could ask Danny if she has single friends” McLaren’s started appearing around the corner. “Okay, I’m here, I’ll ask and set it up. Bye!”

“No,Laura! Please don’t Danny’s friends are wei--”

 

The taxi stop in front of the bar as Laura snapped her flip phone shut and dropped it in her bag. She took out her wallet, paid and generously tipped the driver. When she got out, she pulled her skirt down a little, checked herself out in a store window and graciously walked in.

Danny was already sipping on her water bottle and as usual had ordered a light beer for Laura. She had crossed her legs under the table which seemed impossible due to the fact that her legs alone were almosts as long as Laura’s height. She was resting her back and looking at something on her phone.

“Hey, Dan!” Laura smiled as she walked up. She barely had to lean down to reach the model’s lips. Their kiss was quick as usual, they both didn’t care much for public display of affection.

“Hey babe, how was your day?” the tall girl smiled, showing her perfect pearl teeth, then leaned in, putting her elbows on the table.

Laura shifted in her seat as if getting comfortable and pressed her lips together, the edges curled as if a smile was coming on.

“Great, I have some new actually. So my boss wants me to write a fashion piece and I wanna write about your firm and how it really went became popular this year.”

“Honey, I think that’s great! You can interview all the models and I’ll tell my boss, he’ll be excited. Mostly to have yet another chick around.” she chuckled.

“Is that the guy you call by his last name? That douche?”

“Yeah, Kirsch. He’s still a sweet guy though…” Danny paused. “when he wants to be.”

“Well, I can’t wait to meet him.” Laura lifted up the beer bottle and took a big sip. “Ahh, by the way, do you have any single like..non-model friends? LaF’s been feeling pretty lonely lately and I thought we could set something up.”

“I don’t think any of my friends would be a good match for LaF.”Danny wiggled her nose. “Except maybe Perry. She could be into a teacher”

“OCD Perry?” Laura asked. “She hardly gets different sexualities, I don’t think our lil’ non-binary LaF would be a match.”

“C’mon, she’s not that bad, I’ll give her a call.” Danny reached up to touch Laura’s hand and held it in hers. “Wanna get out of here and order some Chinese?”

Danny’s ginger hair almost sparkled under the bar lightning and Laura couldn’t help but smile. She always felt secure around her though these days they didn’t seem to get spent that much time together. So the idea of cuddling on the couch and Chinese take-out sounded great to Laura.

“Yeah, let’s pay.” she got up ready to walk up to the bar.

“Oh, it’s good, these were on the house. Shawn’s leaving apparently.” Danny got up as well, standing one foot above Laura, she held her by the shoulders and started walking out.

“What, why is he leaving? He’s my favorite bartender!”

“He’s getting married and then moving somewhere. They hired some new European chick. I think he said she starts tomorrow.” Danny shrugged.

“Too bad, I liked Shawn. Who knows if that chick would even be good...we might have to change the scene.”

 

 

 


	2. So, you're a freak.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LaF meets Perry  
> Laura meets a new side of Danny  
> Danny meets Carmilla

Chapter 2 

So, you're a freak. 

* * *

 

"You're the worst...I like you." - V.H

* * *

 

Choosing a restaurant for a first date was LaF's worst nightmare. Choosing a restaurant was LaF's worst nightmare. First dates were LaF's first nightmare. LaF had a lot of nightmares. 

Anyway, they chose Di Wine, which was fancy but not too expensive. Laura hadn't said much about Perry, just that she's attractive and could be a bit of a control freak. There was no more information about this Perry girl and that kind of freaked LaF out but they decided to give this dating thing a chances and they were on their way.

Meanwhile, Perry was also walking since the restaurant was close to her apartment. She had heard very little about this LaF person except that they're a teacher. a teacher sounded good to her. Maybe he was a stand up guy. 

* * *

 

Laura was pulling up in the parking lot in front of the model agency. Since Danny had to get there earlier than usual, they didn't drive up together. Laura was excited to get to see her girlfriend every day for the next two weeks. That would be fun. 

The agency was huge. They had over 200 models working right now and Danny was sort of like the executive director of the whole company. She literally did everything there is to do because her boss was a douche who only inherited the company from his mother and had no idea how to run it. Danny still did photo shoots from time to time but it was mostly contracts and bossing people around.

Knowing that, Laura was still surprised when she walked in at the photo shoot she was invited to and heard Danny yelling at the models. 

"Do you think this is a fucking joke?!" her loudness was rather startling. "You can't go around fucking celebrities and then expect US to fix your problems! GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT AND DON'T COME BACK"

The rest of the crew was quite and going on with their duties as if nothing had happened. Was this an okay thing around here? Was Danny often that mean? 

"Hey, hun." Danny saw Laura and started walking towards her. 

"Hello to you, too." she got up on her toes and Danny reached down. "What was...all that about?"

"Long story...so shall we get some interviews done?" she smiled as they walked away from the photo shoot. 

* * *

 

"So..you're a woman.." Perry stared at LaF, who was sitting down at the table. 

"Well--I---no--I" they squinted their eyes. "First of all, hello...and I am non-binary."

Perry seemed rather confused and partially leaned back on the chair.

"And what does that mean?" 

"Well, it means that I don't feel my gender fits the stereotypes even though I was born female. I also use the pronouns they/them." LaF gave the speech for the thousandth time. 

"That's..uhm..interesting." Perry gulped. 

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes, avoiding eye-contact until the waiter came. Perry order Chicken Alfredo and LaF ordered a salad. _Please don't be vegan. Please don't be vegan._ Perry thought. 

"I'm vegan." Laf smiled. 

"That's...really great." Perry forced a smile. "So..you're a teacher?"

"Yes, I teach Biology at West High School and I help around at the community college with experiments and stuff." Laf started talking and you could see the passion in their eyes. "What do you do? Laura never mentioned."

"Oh, I'm a vice principle at St. Marie all-girls high school up town." Perry nodded.

"Well, it can't be that tough, they're already Catholic and quiet."

Perry glared at her for a second, then chuckled. "You'd be surprised."

* * *

"Look Laura, I know you're mad but don't you think you're overreacting a little?" Danny spoke on the phone.

"You introduced me as YOUR FRIEND, Danny! Pretty sure I'm not overreacting." Laura was yelling as she was driving home. 

"Look, I'm going to McLauren's, come have a drink with me and we'll talk about it." Danny sighed as she pulled up to the corner of the parking lot. "You know, like adults who don't get in the car and drive home to run away from their problems."

"Yeah..you're drinking alone tonight." Laura hung up. 

 _Great._ Danny walked in the bar, which surprisingly was totally packed. The few places that were left were at the bar, where she hated sitting because she was usually looking down at the bartenders. The bar was full of middle-aged men. OH..and here was why.

"What's it gonna be, Twin Tower?" the bartender asked. 

Her hair was mid-length and silky black, flowing down and enhancing her already strong jaw. Her eyes were piercing and she was looking at that, one eyebrow raised, striking lips puckered up. She wasn't really tall but how would Danny, they were all short next to her. And she was dressed in all black. Black tank top and leather pants.

"Yo, skyscraper. Did you come here for drinks or just for the view?" she whipped a small dish towel onto her shoulder.

"I'll have a bottle of water." 

The bartender look at her with sort of pity, then smirked as she passed her an AquaFine. "I assume you like it neat." 

Danny chuckled. "So, you're the new bartender who just moved here from Europe, right? You don't have an accent..."

"Yeah, I'm pretty good with languages. Carmilla, pleasure is all yours." she started walking away. 

"Wait, where are you from?" Danny raised her voice. 

"Austria." she turned her head. "And I gotta go back to work if I don't wanna go back." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy, leave any notes you might have.


	3. Second Freaky Date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Danny keep on fighting.  
> Laura meets Carmilla.  
> Perry bitches about LaF to Danny.  
> LaF bitches about Perry to Laura.

_Simplicity and complexity need each other._

 

* * *

 

The smell of waffles and fresh French toast had filled the the little Cafe on East St as Danny and Perry walked in. Perry sat in the corner, right next to the glass pastry display while Danny got them both a cinnamon roll, coffee for her and hot chocolate for Perry.

"So, how was your date?" Danny asked as she sat down and handed the cinnamon roll. 

"Are you kidding me?!" Perry gave her the infamous death stare. "First of all, YOU set me up with a WOMAN. NOT that I'm against your lifestyle but I like men and quite honestly, this LaF...person is confusing and did I mention that THEY are biologically A WOMAN?"

Danny let out a chuckle. "But that doesn't count...because they don't identify as a woman and I think you're enough open-minded to realize that love is gender-less. I mean look at me and Laura." she let out a smile. 

"Oh, yeah, the lovely girlfriend you have to whom you are not currently speaking?" Perry took a bite. 

"I AM. She isn't...and all because I yelled at some bitch-ass newbie model for eating spaghetti." she explained. "Look, I don't like doing it but it's my job. I mean, look at me. I'm eating a cinnamon roll. I haven't gotten a job in months but that's okay because I have this job. So, I'll have to be mean."

"But what if Laura dumps you for it." Perry finished her cinnamon roll.

"I'll have to take that chance..." she shrugged, looking down and circling the rim of her mug with her fingertip. "I'm sorry it didn't work with Laf." 

"What are you talking about? We're seeing a movie tonight."

* * *

 

"She's the most obsessive and controlling person I have ever met. She is kind of ignorant and doesn't really get my identity and is a shallow about it all." LaF was telling Laura as they were walking down the street to go to McLauren.

"Jeez, I told Danny it wouldn't work..." Laura nudged her. "Sorry, boo."

"Oh, no, no. That's who I'm meeting her after I leave you at the bar. We're going to see a movie." LaF smiled. 

Laura stopped for a second and LaF followed. "So, you're going on a date with the most obsessive and controlling, ignorant person who doesn't get your identity, which you've fought to have accepted for years?"

LaF puckered their lips while looking up and nodded. "Yeah, strange, isn't it. I guess I find it kind of cute. What about you and your tall ginger?"

Laura sighed and stopped as they reached the bar, then turned to LaF. "She is so mean. Like, so incredibly mean. I'd never seen that side of her before. It's like she's going against all my feminist views and it really bothers me even if she is doing it just at work. That's where it starts..."

"So, what are you gonna do? Break it off?"

"I don't know...I mean it is kind of a deal breaker for me but we've been together for so long now and I do have feelings for her." Laura explained. 

"What feelings exactly?" LaF asked.

"I like her." Laura threw out. 

"You like her...You've been together for and I quote "so long" and you just like her?" LaF chuckled. "Why don't you think about that while I go on my second date with a clearly straight weird woman?" 

* * *

 

_Laura this is Danny. Again. Please pick up. This is super childish._

_Laura, it's me again. Your girlfriend, remember? Call me._

_Okay, you gotta call me. I'm getting worried._

_I get off work at 8 tonight. Come by my place. We have to talk about this._

* * *

 

Laura sat at her little booth and listened to her voice mails. The dilemma with Danny still stood and she had no idea how to deal with it. One on side, she happy with her but she had pretty much always known that it wasn't..you know..IT.

"Hellooo." the waitress said a little irritated.

"Sorry, sorry. I'd like a light beer please."

"Coming right up. Hey, where's your gal pal?"

"I don't think she's my...gal pal anymore." Laura smiled up at the waitress.

Eight light beers later Laura was still sitting there, in the same spot. It was almost closing time as it  was a week night after all. She sat there, looking at the empty bottles, in front of her, a note pad with pros and cons of dating Danny and still nothing. not a thing. She had no solution, she was tipsy and about to fall asleep. 

"Here's your last beer for the night, love. Want me to call you a cab?"the cranky waitress put a bottle next to Laura's hand, resting on the table. 

"I didn't order another beer though....wait did I?"

"No." the waitress chuckled. "This one is from the bartender." She walked away and into the staff room. 

Laura put her notepad back in her purse, took her beer and swayed her way to the bar. The bartender was standing there, arms onto the rim of the bar, looking right at her. "Need some help, creampuff?" 

The tiny drunk not-so-lady-like anymore journalist looked up at the woman and squinted her eyes. 

"I'm Carmilla, by the way." the bartender said. 

"I'm Laura." she smiled. "I'm drunk and I need a ride home."

Carmilla chuckled. "You don't say..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoy.   
> More coming soon.   
> http://gayerpls.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that there's so much dialogue..but hey, it's just the prologue.


End file.
